97 Fun Facts About Etiquette

The word 'etiquette' comes from a French word for what everyday object?

A ticket or label was the old French word's meaning, and one telling says the manners sense grew from cards instructing courtiers how to behave.

Which French king used a codified etiquette to tame his nobility at Versailles?

Louis XIV kept nobles at Versailles chasing royal favour inside a strict etiquette, which eroded the provincial power they might have used to plot.

Baldassare Castiglione's 1528 guide to ideal courtly behaviour is called what?

The Book of the Courtier spread across Europe in translation, reaching England in Thomas Hoby's 1561 version.

Castiglione's prized quality 'sprezzatura' is best translated as what?

Studied nonchalance meant making hard things look effortless, and the word still names that unfussed chic, especially in fashion.

Which Dutch humanist wrote the 1530 manners manual 'On Civility in Children'?

Erasmus's handbook was reprinted so often that a French typeface used for printing manners books came to be called civilité.

Which earl's 'Letters to His Son', published in 1774, served as a guide to manners and worldly success?

Lord Chesterfield never meant the letters for publication, and Samuel Johnson sneered that they taught 'the morals of a whore, and the manners of a dancing master'.

In 'Letters to His Son', a father hoped his boy would often be seen to smile but never heard to do what?

Never laugh aloud, the letters advised, because loud laughter showed folly and was 'the mirth of the mob, who are only pleased with silly things'.

As a youth, which US president copied out 110 'Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour' by hand?

George Washington copied them out as a schoolboy, and the maxims are thought to have helped shape his character.

At a toast, who should neither stand nor drink?

The honoree waits until the toast is over, then may rise to thank the speaker.

What was the profession of Emily Post's father, Bruce Price?

Architect Bruce Price designed Quebec City's Château Frontenac hotel and Montreal's Windsor Station for the Canadian Pacific Railway.

As of 2026, who runs the Emily Post Institute?

Her descendants run it, and family members have revised her Etiquette for new editions over the decades.

Which etiquette authority published her best-selling 'Complete Book of Etiquette' in 1952?

Amy Vanderbilt's guide was later updated by Letitia Baldrige, who published a revised edition in 1978.

Under what pen name has Judith Martin written an etiquette column since 1978?

She refers to herself in the third person throughout, and her children began sharing the byline in 2013.

Etiquette expert Letitia Baldrige was famous for serving as social secretary to which First Lady?

Jacqueline Kennedy's social secretary quit the White House in 1963, saying she had had it, but came back that year to help the first lady after the president's assassination.

Before its etiquette guides, what did Debrett's catalogue?

The peerage was its first subject, and Debrett's later added coaching in social skills through its own academy.

What does the French phrase behind RSVP literally mean?

Respond if it pleases you is the literal sense, and because s'il vous plaît already means please, 'please RSVP' says please twice.

On an invitation, what does 'regrets only' mean?

Silence is taken as acceptance, which cuts down the host's correspondence when most guests are expected to say yes.

In European table manners, which hand traditionally holds the fork?

The left hand holds the fork, tines down, while the right hand's knife cuts, which spares diners the constant switching of the American zig-zag style.

How has the Emily Post Institute advised taking something unpleasant out of your mouth at the table?

Onto your fork, the institute has advised, if the bite went in on one, though Emily Post's own 1922 book said anything leaves the mouth between finger and thumb.

How do you signal to a waiter that you have finished eating?

Parallel at the 6 o'clock or 4 o'clock position, tines up, works whether or not the plate is empty.

When eating soup, in which direction should the spoon move through the bowl?

Away from you is the stroke, and the soup is then sipped silently from the side of the spoon rather than its tip.

At the end of a meal, where does etiquette say your napkin should go?

Loosely to the left of the plate: crumpled on the plate looks uncouth, and it need not be folded neatly, since it has clearly been used.

According to European table manners, what should you do before adding salt and pepper?

Taste the food first, because seasoning it before tasting can suggest you doubt the cook's skill.

What is the correct way to eat a bread roll at a formal table?

Tear off mouth-sized pieces and butter each one just before eating it, since older guides said bread is never cut but always broken.

Traditionally in Europe, who takes the first bite of a meal?

The host or hostess begins once everyone is seated and served, unless they invite the guests to start first.

At a Chinese tea meal, what does tapping your fingers on the table as your cup is refilled mean?

Thank you is the meaning, and legend says the tap began when companions of a Qing emperor in disguise could not kneel to him.

Thomas Coryat is credited with bringing the table fork to England after seeing it used in which country?

Italy's fork habit stuck with Coryat, and a friend teasingly called him 'furcifer' for using a fork at the table.

In which empire was the personal table fork most likely invented?

A Byzantine princess, Maria Argyropoulina, was criticised by churchman Peter Damian for eating with a fork.

In 1948, Emily Post declared what to be 'far better form' than reusing breakfast linen?

Paper napkins had been imported to the US since the late 1800s, and with Post's approval they became big business by mid-century.

The claim that Leonardo da Vinci invented the napkin in 1491 comes from what kind of source?

Leonardo's Kitchen Notebooks (1987) invented a 'Codex Romanoff' that never existed, and the story has circulated ever since.

Why is sticking chopsticks upright in rice considered rude?

It resembles incense offered to the dead, and in Japan rice with chopsticks standing in it is set only on a funeral altar.

In Japan, passing food from one pair of chopsticks to another is taboo because it mimics what?

If food must be passed, reverse the chopsticks and set it on a small plate for the other person to pick up.

In Japan, how should you lay down your chopsticks when you are not using them?

In front, tips to the left, or tips right for left-handed diners, and back on the chopstick rest if the table has one.

In Korea, chopsticks are paired with which utensil to form a 'sujeo' set?

A spoon handles the rice and soup while the chopsticks take the side dishes, and etiquette says not to hold both in one hand.

With which word do meals in Japan traditionally begin?

Itadakimasu, roughly 'I humbly receive', thanks not just the cook but everyone and everything behind the meal, from farmers to the plants and animals eaten.

In a traditional Japanese home, what must you do before getting into the bathtub?

Wash and rinse thoroughly first, because the hot bath water stays in the tub for the next member of the household to soak in.

Japanese bows mostly follow which warrior-etiquette school founded about 800 years ago?

Business bows come in three grades, eshaku, keirei and saikeirei, set by the other person's status.

In the Thai wai, what shows greater respect?

Holding the hands higher shows more respect, and the younger person offers the wai first, which an elder then returns.

What does the Sanskrit greeting 'namaste' literally mean?

Bowing to you is the literal sense, from Sanskrit namas 'bowing' and te 'you', and its pressed-palms gesture also lies behind Thailand's wai.

The Maori hongi greeting is performed by pressing together which body parts?

Noses, often with foreheads too, are pressed together, and visiting British royals, among them Prince Harry and Meghan, have been welcomed this way.

In which country do friends and family commonly greet with three cheek kisses?

The Netherlands keeps its three kisses for friends and family, while people meeting for the first time usually just shake hands.

A 9th-century BC relief of a handshake sealing an alliance shows a king of which empire?

Assyria's king Shalmaneser III appears clasping a Babylonian king's hand, and one popular theory holds that an empty hand showed no weapon was held.

What did the ancient Greeks call the handshake?

Dexiosis often appears on classical Greek gravestones, where the dead clasp a family member's hand, perhaps in farewell.

In the Middle East, showing someone which part of your body is often considered rude?

The sole of the foot, and the shoe on it, carry such contempt that an Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at George W. Bush in 2008.

The word 'curtsy' is a shortened form of which word?

Courtesy gave English the word, and the knee-bending curtsy was originally not only for women.

In the white tie dress code, what colour is a man's tail coat?

Black tailcoats were once standard evening dress for gentlemen, but white tie is now kept for the most formal events, such as state dinners and grand balls.

The American word 'tuxedo' for the dinner jacket comes from a village in which state?

New York's Tuxedo Park, a resort for wealthy New Yorkers, lent the jacket its name, reputedly because it was first worn at the country club there.

Which greeting did Alexander Graham Bell use to answer the telephone before Thomas Edison's 'hello' caught on?

Ahoy, a term borrowed from ships, was Bell's pick, and he said it twice: 'ahoy ahoy'. Edison proposed 'hello' in an 1877 letter to a telegraph company president.

Under the US Flag Code, a flag too worn to display should be destroyed, preferably by which method?

Burning is the Flag Code's preferred send-off for a tattered flag, so the act that looks like protest is the respectful one. American Legion posts hold dignified retirement ceremonies.

In Britain and Australia, which hand gesture becomes an insult when made with the palm facing inward?

The V sign with the palm turned inward is the British cousin of the middle finger. Flip the hand around and the same two fingers mean victory or peace.

What does the German word 'gesundheit', heard in the United States after a sneeze, literally mean?

Health is the literal meaning, so the speaker is wishing the sneezer well, not blessing them. Germans raise a glass with the same word: 'auf Ihre Gesundheit', to your health.

Which signal, backed by etiquette experts, tells trick-or-treaters a household is sitting out Halloween?

Front lights turned off is the accepted opt-out, which the Emily Post Institute says families will understand. Its other rule of thumb: one piece of candy from each house.

Which reply to thanks does the Emily Post Institute prefer to 'it was nothing', which undervalues the favour?

'You're welcome' accepts the credit, and the institute says doing so encourages the habit of thanking. Waving thanks away suggests the kindness had no value.

After an opening 'Your Majesty', royal etiquette says a British queen should next be addressed by which word?

Ma'am is the word, and the royal household specifies a short 'a', as in 'jam'. Men greet the monarch with a neck bow from the head only.

Members of which worldwide youth organisation traditionally greet one another with a left-handed handshake?

The Scouts offer the left hand as a token of friendship. One origin story credits Ashanti chiefs, who told founder Robert Baden-Powell that only the bravest shake with that hand.

The Emily Post Institute likens a good handshake's grip to the pressure of turning which household object?

A door knob takes about the same pressure as a good handshake: firm, never crushing. The institute's guide also keeps the shake short, at two or three seconds.

In online etiquette, typing a whole message in capital letters is treated as the equivalent of what?

Shouting is how readers hear a message typed in all caps, a reading that became mainstream with networked computers from the 1980s onward.

Which pair of letters completes the old English saying for watching your manners, 'Mind your …'?

Ps and Qs is the pair, and nobody knows why. Guesses run from pupils confusing the two lowercase letters to publicans tallying pints and quarts, but the Oxford English Dictionary calls the origin unknown.

Which form of thanks do etiquette experts call warmer and more personal than a phone call or email?

A handwritten note ranks second only to thanking someone in person, the Emily Post Institute says. Its advice for latecomers: a late note is always better than no note at all.

The title 'Mrs', like 'Miss', began as a shortened form of which older word for a woman?

Mistress was once the formal title for a woman whether she was married or not, the feminine of 'Master'. Only later did 'Mrs' come to signal a wife.

The French phrase 'faux pas', used in English for a social blunder, literally translates as what?

False step is the literal meaning, picturing a breach of manners as a stumble. English borrowed the phrase from French in the 1670s.

Which word for grovelling comes from a custom of kneeling and touching the forehead to the ground?

Kowtow is Chinese for 'knock the head'. The word reached English in 1804 as the name of the bow itself, then came to mean any abject submission.

In United States flag etiquette, flying the Stars and Stripes upside down is reserved as a signal of what?

Distress or great danger is the only message an inverted flag should send. Mourning is shown differently, by lowering the flag to half-staff.

Which spoken form of address, shared with the Dalai Lama, is traditionally used for the pope?

Your Holiness is the spoken form for a pope, who is 'His Holiness' in writing. Cardinals, one rank below, are addressed as 'Your Eminence'.

In golf etiquette, which word do players shout to warn anyone standing in the path of a flying ball?

Fore began as a Scots interjection. One theory shortens it from 'fore-caddie', the helper sent ahead to watch where the balls landed.

With no tissue at hand, the US disease-control agency advises coughing or sneezing into which body part?

The elbow keeps germs off the hands, which pass them on through every surface other people touch. The agency also says to clean your hands straight after a cough or sneeze.

An old American fashion rule says white clothing should be packed away after which holiday?

Labor Day closed the summer season for the wealthy families behind the rule, who swapped summer whites for city clothes on returning to town. Memorial Day opened it.

Which gesture replaced the outstretched-arm Bellamy salute in 1942 for Americans reciting the Pledge of Allegiance?

Hand over the heart became the rule when Congress amended the Flag Code in December 1942. The old salute had caused controversy because it resembled the Nazi one.

The Emily Post Institute says all etiquette rests on three principles: consideration, respect and which other?

Honesty completes the trio, and the institute means the kind sort: finding the positive truth without causing embarrassment or pain. Manners change with time and place, it argues, but these three do not.

At a classical concert, audiences traditionally hold their applause between which parts of a symphony?

Movements are separated by pauses that can sound like endings, so the Emily Post Institute suggests counting them in the programme and clapping only after the last one.

Instead of shushing a noisy neighbour at the theatre, etiquette experts suggest fetching which member of staff?

An usher can settle things quietly, since loud shushing disturbs as much as the chatter does. The silent alternative is a finger raised to the lips.

On a ski slope, etiquette gives the right of way to which skier when two are heading downhill?

The one in front has the right of way, however erratically that person skis. Emily Post's guide makes the skier behind responsible for reacting, and for any collision.

By an old rule of gentlemanly manners, a man walking with a woman took which position on the sidewalk?

The street side was the gentleman's spot, and he was also expected to pay for meals and stand whenever ladies arrived. The Emily Post Institute now suggests simply asking what a companion would like.

Which habit does the Emily Post Institute call the number one rule of etiquette at the gym?

Wiping up your sweat, on mats as well as machines, tops the list, so gym-goers are told to keep a towel with them at all times.

Which ancient Chinese philosopher's works stressed correct social relationships and sincerity in personal dealings?

Confucius also prized justice and morality in government, so his teaching reads as part ethics and part etiquette guide.

At Chinese New Year, gifts of money are traditionally handed over in envelopes of which lucky colour?

Red stands for good luck and is said to ward off evil spirits. The envelopes, called hongbao in Mandarin, are also given at weddings.

On the traditional list of wedding anniversary gifts, which precious metal marks 25 years of marriage?

Silver marks 25 years and gold marks 50, a pairing recorded in Germanic countries since the 1500s. Emily Post's 1922 guide thought a big anniversary party 'not very good form'.

Etiquette teacher Sara Jane Ho's series 'Mind Your Manners' launched in 2022 on which streaming service?

Netflix put Ho on screen as its etiquette expert. She had founded Institute Sarita, a finishing school in Beijing, in 2013, though it has since closed.

Which country was renowned in the early 20th century for finishing schools teaching young women the social graces?

Switzerland's Institut Villa Pierrefeu, founded in 1954 on a mountainside above Montreux, has been nicknamed the Harvard of finishing schools.

In ancient Greece, which god was the protector of 'xenia', the code of hospitality towards travelling strangers?

Zeus bore the title Xenios as protector of strangers. The duty to take them in is an important theme of Homer's Odyssey.

The Maxims of Ptahhotep, an early guide to proper conduct, were written by a vizier in which ancient civilisation?

Egypt's vizier Ptahhotep praised truthfulness, self-control and kindness more than 4,000 years ago. The only complete copy of his text, the Prisse Papyrus, is kept in France's national library in Paris.

In which Balkan country does shaking the head from side to side traditionally signal 'yes'?

Bulgaria shares the reversed signal with southern Albania. In Greece and Turkey, meanwhile, a single upward nod of the head means 'no'.

In 19th-century polite society, which small personalised item was left at a friend's house after dropping by?

A visiting card, also known as a calling card, announced its owner by name. By the 19th century a personalised one was needed to keep, or improve, a position in society.

In Hawaiian tradition, which gift should never be thrown in the trash, because that discards the giver's love?

A lei represents love, so tossing one away means throwing away the love of the giver. Tradition also says only an open-ended one should be given to a pregnant woman.

The word 'polite' descends from 'politus', an ancient Roman adjective that literally described something as what?

Polished is the literal sense, from the verb 'polire', to make smooth. In English the word first meant burnished before it described a person's manners.

The farewell 'goodbye' began as a contraction of which blessing, later reshaped by phrases such as 'good day'?

'God be with ye' had shrunk to 'godbwye' by the 1570s. The 'God' then turned into 'good' under the pull of greetings like 'good day' and 'good evening'.

Which English racecourse's Royal Enclosure requires men to wear morning dress with a top hat?

Ascot is just as firm with women in the Royal Enclosure, who need formal daywear and a hat with a solid base at least four inches across.

Adolph Knigge, whose surname means 'good manners' in his native tongue, was a leading member of which secret society?

The Illuminati gained publicity and influence through Knigge, who joined in 1780. Eight years later his treatise 'On Human Relations' made his name a byword for etiquette books.

'Manners makyth man' was the motto of William of Wykeham, founder in 1382 of which English boarding school?

Winchester College was founded to supply students for New College, Oxford, which the bishop had set up three years earlier.

Which 1558 manners guide by Giovanni della Casa was so popular that its title became an Italian word for etiquette?

Galateo covers dress, table manners and conversation, and came out in Venice two years after its author died. The title honours one of his distinguished friends.

Which 18th-century dandy set strict rules of polite behaviour as Master of Ceremonies in the spa town of Bath?

Beau Nash held the post from 1704 until his death and helped make Bath the most fashionable resort in England. Earlier, friends had suspected the free-spending law student of being a highwayman.

At Britain's Queen Charlotte's Ball, debutantes traditionally curtsey to which object?

A birthday cake recalls the first ball, which George III held in 1780 for his wife's birthday. Its 21st-century revival shifted the focus to etiquette, networking and charity fundraising.

'Book of the Civilized Man', thought to be the first English book of manners, was written in which language?

Latin verse, some 3,000 lines of it, carries Daniel of Beccles's advice for almost any social situation. Written around the start of the 13th century, it led a wave of medieval manners books.

In Japan, which honorific, the closest match to Mr or Ms, do relative strangers attach to each other's names?

San is the most commonplace Japanese honorific and works for any gender. It even attaches to shops, so a bookseller can be addressed as 'hon'ya-san'.

In golf etiquette, the 'honour' goes to the best scorer on the previous hole, who earns the right to do what?

Tee off first is the reward, and when nobody wins a hole outright the order simply carries over from the previous tee.

In which Southeast Asian country is the traditional greeting a 'sampeah', with palms pressed together and a slight bow?

Cambodia's sampeah doubles as a way to give thanks or apologise, and it descends from the same Indian gesture that accompanies namaste.

The word 'chaperone', for the escort of a young unmarried woman, comes from an Old French word for which garment?

A hood protects its wearer, and the French word had come to mean 'protector' before English borrowed it in 1720. The role usually fell to an older married woman, often the girl's own mother.