50 Fun Facts About Etiquette

The word 'etiquette' comes from a French word for what everyday object?

The English usage dates from about 1750, possibly suggesting that proper behaviour was your admission into society.

Which French king used a codified etiquette to tame his nobility at Versailles?

The ceremonious court impressed foreign dignitaries and kept the nobles competing for favour instead of plotting.

Baldassare Castiglione's 1528 guide to ideal courtly behaviour is called what?

It took twenty years to write, was published by the Aldine Press in Venice just before his death, and reached England in Thomas Hoby's 1561 translation.

Castiglione's prized quality 'sprezzatura' is best translated as what?

Peter Burke glosses it as 'careful negligence': the courtier should make everything difficult look effortless.

Which Dutch humanist wrote the 1530 manners manual 'On Civility in Children'?

Its lesson was that a civilised adult readily ignores the faults of others while avoiding them himself.

Which earl's 'Letters to His Son' (1774) gave English its first modern use of 'etiquette'?

The more than 400 letters were published by his son's widow, and they argue that manners are a tool for social advancement.

Chesterfield wished his son would often be seen to smile but never heard to do what?

The line sums up the emotional restraint that 18th-century polite society prized.

As a youth, which US president copied out 110 'Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour' by hand?

The rules were adapted from a French text and stressed humility, restraint and public decorum.

How old was Emily Post when she published her first etiquette book in 1922?

Before that she had written five novels, starting with Flight of a Moth in 1904.

What was the profession of Emily Post's father, Bruce Price?

He was known for designing luxury communities, and she inherited four of his cottages in Tuxedo Park.

In which year did Emily Post found the institute that still carries her name?

The family-run organisation is now in its fifth generation and builds its advice on consideration, respect and honesty.

Which etiquette authority published her best-selling 'Complete Book of Etiquette' in 1952?

She went on to host the TV programme It's in Good Taste and the radio show The Right Thing to Do.

Under what pen name has Judith Martin written an etiquette column since 1978?

She refers to herself in the third person throughout, and her children began sharing the byline in 2013.

Etiquette expert Letitia Baldrige was famous for serving as social secretary to which First Lady?

Nicknamed the 'Doyenne of Decorum', she had earlier run public relations for Tiffany & Co.

Debrett's, the British authority on etiquette and the peerage, was founded in which year?

John Debrett, son of a Huguenot cook, began publishing the Peerage under his own name in 1802.

What does the French phrase behind RSVP literally mean?

'Répondez s'il vous plaît' is usually rendered simply as 'please respond'.

On an invitation, what does 'regrets only' mean?

Silence is taken as acceptance, which cuts down the host's correspondence when most guests are expected to say yes.

In European table manners, which hand traditionally holds the fork?

The knife stays in the right, and the fork is usually held tines down while cutting.

In the American style of eating, what does the diner do with the fork after cutting?

The Continental style never makes the switch; the fork simply stays in the left hand throughout.

How do you signal to a waiter that you have finished eating?

Parallel at the 6 o'clock or 4 o'clock position, tines up, works whether or not the plate is empty.

When eating soup, in which direction should the spoon move through the bowl?

The bowl is tipped away from the diner too, so any drips land in the bowl rather than on your lap.

Where should you leave your napkin if you must leave the table mid-meal?

Only at the end of the meal does it go, still unfolded, onto the table; crumpling it on the plate is considered uncouth.

According to European table manners, what should you do before adding salt and pepper?

Seasoning unseen food implies you assume the cook got it wrong.

What is the correct way to eat a bread roll at a formal table?

Each piece is buttered individually from butter first transferred to your side plate, which keeps crumbs out of the shared dish.

Traditionally in Europe, who takes the first bite of a meal?

Unless the host explicitly invites the others to begin first.

Which items should not be on the dining table during daylight hours, even unlit?

A small rule that trips up plenty of lunch hosts.

Roughly how long did it take the fork to go from novelty to universal use in Western dining?

It was first mentioned as a curiosity in an 11th-century document and only became an affordable mark of civilised behaviour centuries later.

In which empire was the personal table fork most likely invented?

A princess from there, Maria Argyropoulina, brought golden forks to Venice when she married the Doge's son in 1004.

Which queen's entourage introduced the French court to guests bringing their own fork in a box?

The little case for one's fork and spoon was called a cadena.

In 1948, Emily Post declared what to be 'far better form' than reusing breakfast linen?

Paper napkins had been imported to the US since the late 1800s but only won acceptance after her endorsement.

The claim that Leonardo da Vinci invented the napkin in 1491 comes from what kind of source?

Leonardo's Kitchen Notebooks (1987) invented a 'Codex Romanoff' that never existed, and the story has circulated ever since.

Why should chopsticks never be left standing upright in a bowl of rice?

The taboo is shared across China, Japan, Korea and Vietnam; in Japan it also recalls food offered at the household shrine.

In Japan, passing food from one pair of chopsticks to another is taboo because it mimics what?

If food must be passed, reverse the chopsticks and set it on a small plate for the other person to pick up.

In Chinese custom, what does crossing chopsticks on the table symbolise?

Pointing chopsticks at someone is read as a threat in Japan, so resting them neatly is the safe choice everywhere.

In Korea, chopsticks are paired with which utensil to form a 'sujeo' set?

Both pieces are traditionally laid on a rest so they never touch the table, and today they are usually stainless steel.

With which word do meals in Japan traditionally begin?

It means 'I humbly receive'; gochisosama is the thank-you said at the end.

In a traditional Japanese home, what must you do before getting into the bathtub?

The ofuro is for soaking, not cleaning, and the same hot water serves the whole family in order of seniority.

Japanese bows mostly follow which warrior-etiquette school founded about 800 years ago?

Business bows come in three grades, eshaku, keirei and saikeirei, set by the other person's status.

In the Thai wai, what shows greater respect?

Visitors should not wai someone younger than themselves except to return one, but a respectful wai should always be returned.

What does the Sanskrit greeting 'namaste' literally mean?

The pressed-palms gesture that goes with it is the Anjali Mudra.

The Maori hongi greeting is performed by pressing together which body parts?

It symbolically exchanges the ha, or breath of life, and is often followed by a handshake.

In which country are three cheek kisses the usual greeting, especially on birthdays?

Serbs also kiss three times, while Croats and Bosniaks stop at two, so the count can give away a person's background.

A 9th-century BC relief of a handshake sealing an alliance shows a king of which empire?

The 9th-century BC relief shows Shalmaneser III clasping hands with the Babylonian king Marduk-zakir-shumi I.

What did the ancient Greeks call the handshake?

The gesture appears in Greek art and texts from the 5th century BC, possibly originating as proof the hand held no weapon.

In the Middle East, showing someone which part of your body is often considered rude?

That includes sitting with a foot raised, and touching someone with a shoe is worse.

The word 'curtsy' is a shortened form of which word?

Linguists call the dropped syllable a syncope; the gesture became standard for women greeting superiors by the 17th century.

In the white tie dress code, what colour is a man's tail coat?

It goes over a white piqué waistcoat, white bow tie and wing collar; the code survives at the Nobel banquet and the Vienna Opera Ball.

The American word 'tuxedo' for the dinner jacket comes from a village in which state?

Tuxedo Park adopted it in 1886; the first dinner jacket is traced to the Prince of Wales in 1865, and many languages still call it a 'smoking'.

According to naval superstition, toasting with water dooms the honoured person to what?

The belief is held in the Royal Navy and the US, Australian, Canadian and New Zealand navies alike.

Which common way of calling for quiet before a toast do some authorities regard as rude?

Putting your glass down before a toast ends, or holding it without drinking, is also read as a snub to the sentiment.